Frustration...

I HATE being single. Now,I'm not one of those piney women who thinks she MUST have a man to be complete. I am perfectly happy with myself as a person. I have done a lot of soul searching and I know that I am a very worthwhile person all by myself. My reasons for hating single life are purely selfish. I hate sleeping alone. I crave physical contact. I just want someone to hold hands with, and snuggle and possibly get naked with. Just to clarify, I am not a trashy whore. I don't sleep around and I have NEVER had a one night stand. Just doesn't do it for me. Hence the frustration. I need emotional closeness as well as physical closeness. I'm in no hurry to get married again, if ever, but it sure would be nice to find someone to share some quality time with. I'm not too picky. I'm looking for someone preferably male, at least 25 years old, have a functional brain and know how to use it, with a college education or other career aspirations. Must like kids and not be adverse to dating a woman who is not a size 6. (But see previous rant...)

A new resolve...

I did something implusive today. Ok, so, not that impulsive. I've been seriously thinking about it for the last few weeks. And it been on my mind longer than that. I joined a gym. Made a 24 month commitment to pay $30 a month. I really need to stick with it. I have got to get in shape. I'm 6' tall and I weigh 290. That's too much. Before I had my son I was a size 12/14. I gained almost 100 lbs, during my pregnancy. That was seven years ago. I've never lost the weight. I try to have a positive attitude about myself and try to feel good about myself no matter what, but the truth is I don't feel good. I'm tired all the time. My knees hurt. It's a pain in the ass to buy clothes and I'm at high risk for diabetes and heart problems. I'm a nurse. I know what people who are seriously overweight go through. Not to mention the fact that I'm single and the guys out there (nice as they are) don't get interested in fat chicks. It's a HUGE (no pun intended) turn-off. And quite frankly, the ones who do get turned on by fat chicks worry me. So I've got a consulation with a personal trainer on Saturday and I'm gonna give it my best. I'll keep you posted...

Snow in April...

"Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get." ~Lazarus Long



It's the middle of April. And we have SNOW in Idaho. Not unusual. Having lived here all my life, I shouldn't be surprised. But it's not an always thing. I could cope better if we ALWAYS had snow in April. But it's random. Some years we do, some years we don't. It's not uncommon to have snow during Spring Break (usually the last week of March) or on my birthday (April 9th) but this is pushing it. We've already had some beautiful spring weather. Just last week we were sitting outside Java (a local coffee shop) and basking in the sun. And today it SNOWS!! So we dig out the winter coats again and hope that the flowers don't freeze and maybe we'll make snow angels. And perhaps tomorrow (or possibly even this afternoon) the sun will come back and we can get back to having SPRING!

Ordinary Monday...

I had a very uneventful Monday at work. Nothing too stressful, but not too intersting either. After work I hung out with my munchkin and then dropped him off at his Dad's. Then I went and killed three hours drinking coffee and getting lost in the world of Lazarus Long. I have been "encouraged" for a while now to give Heinlein a read. I have been pleasently surprised at how much I have enjoyed "Stranger in a Strange Land" and "Time Enough for Love". And there are many more Heinlein books to read. Nothing more frustrating than finding a book that you really love and then discovering that that is the only book that author has written. (Or the only GOOD one!) As much as I enjoy Heinlein, the next tome I'm planning on tackling is "Shadowmarch" by Tad Williams. Another worthwhile author IMHO. I throughly enjoyed the "Memory, Sorrow and Thorn" trilogy (of 4 books...go figure) and "War of the Flowers" by said author. Sooooooo many books, so little time! Another piece of my pleasant evening was picking up a copy of Tori Amos' new album "The Beekeeper". VERY listenable! Sure to provide many hours of stimulating aural pleasure. Singing off for now...